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Case #: HoesJumpUp2GetBeatDownFacing Charges of: Needing a severe beatdown for running her mouth and acting tough!Jim Jones, with his dusty-crusty a$$, said it best on that Hot 97 interview with Mase a while back. Talk tough, you gotta do tough things! Get ya Kufie smacked off otherwise. This chick Mo'nique needs a good beat down! I'm talkin earings off, vasoline on the face, and Tims! Ohhh... she could get the business! I'm just counting down the days until somebody puts their foot in her a$$... Gonnie-Goo-Goo style! If you want to see the pics from last nights ghetto-a$$ hair wars/Bonner Brothers Explosion Show... Check out Crunk and Disorderly!
Case #: 459218-UareWhatUeatFacing Charges of: Doing anything for free stuff and just being straight-up nasty!Six Flags in Chicago is offering, in celebration of Fright Fest, free admission to anyone who eats hissing cockroaches. Read this related article. This is just disgusting! Now PETA is mad because it's supposedly cruelty to animals. Last time I checked, there wasn't a shortage of roaches. If people like to eat roaches so much, they can go over my homegirls spot and eat up some of her infestation... just nasty!
Case #: 2468-B-AllUCanBFacing Charges of: HarassmentSo, yesterday I get a phonecall while I'm at work. It's an Army recruiter. He said he received my information and wanted to know if I was still interested. WTF? I never wanted to join the Army... at one point I was considering the Air Force... but that was a while ago. I told him no and he insitsted to ask me why I wasn't interested. (Now remember, I was at work... so I couldn't get at him like I wanted to and cause a scene.) So I told him that I was at work, that I was busy, and that I couldn't talk at the time. So he asks me if he can call back to ask me why? Are you serious?!? No means no! That's just why I didn't want to join the last time because I almost had to put a restraining order on the recruiter. So you know I saved the number he called from and gave him a special ringtone. To Mr Recruiter man: LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!
I was reading this article this morning about this chick and her surprise that black schools don't have the top notch accommodations (like dorms, classrooms, etc.) I went to a HBCU and it was a fact that they didn't have the best dorms, but the experience is something you won't receive at some 'traditional college'. My dorm looked like something out of Marcy Projects, but receiving the 'black college experience' was something that I will appreciate for life. Support black colleges everybody... (Shout out to everybody who was/is in the SWAC)
Case #: 452874-WTF?!Facing Charges of: Several felony counts of being extra and vain.I am sick-and-tired of seeing that Proactiv commercial with Puffy talking about moisturizing his "situation." But the worst part is when he talks about how it "maintains his sexy." WTF? The only reason Diddy and sexy should be in the same sentence is if you're referring to someone near or around him. I never got the memo that P. Daddy Daycare ever had a sexy anything to begin with! See, this is what hapens when groupies amp guys heads up. P. Daddy Daycare is an average kat with or without a moisturizing of his situation and the only thing being preserved is his vanity and ability of being extra...24-7.
Case #: 5342721-CelebrityBull-ishFacing Charges of: Having judges for no reason... Why do you need judges on a show if your going to have America vote? Lucy Lawless put on a terrible performance and instead... America voted off Jai Rodriguez. Lucy is clearly getting by on her looks because her singing is garbage. Jai is clearly a talented singer and America would rather vote on T & A instead of talent alone. They better let Jai come back for a re-count because this is clearly some George Bush/Florida type activity...
Case #: 123491-BadA$$ChildrenFacing Charges of: (The Parents) Not explaining and making it understood that they are the adult and the child is supposed to listen and obey authority. In other words... BAD PARENTING!This is a serious business. I almost had to lay the smackdown on someones child this weekend due to the parents' lack of laying down ground rules. When your child questions adults when they are told to do something, tells an adult to be quiet, and lies with a straight face... don't send them off with other people and expect for your child to get over like they do with you. I have to call my mother and thank her for beating my butt every now-and-then when I got outta line.
If you missed Celebrity Duets last night, here is the re-cap. I enjoyed making this slideshow! All these throwback pictures! I'm putting my money on Jai and Carlton in the finals... but past that I can't bet because it's going to be a close one. They can both sang chile'! Patti was screaming like a wounded cat but her and Jai ripped it up. Little Richard is a hot mess with his rambling and screaming... and you know he's forever rockin the bedazzled suits! He now refers to hisself as "Judge Beauty." Cheech and Al looked like a ethnic verson of the Blues Brothers and they sounded terrible. Of course, Wayne Brady had to be extra and do a duet with Patti. at the end and Patti came out with her make-up looking like a killer clown... it just neva ends, honey!
Yesterday I shouted out Hugo Chavez for calling out George Dub-ya... but it didnt stop there! Chavez was in Harlem on Thursday and called out Bush again! Called him a drunk and basically peed all over Dub-ya's parade. And I'm mad at the press for depicting him as this negative guy just because he speaks his mind. The press makes it seem like Chavez is trying to hold back on oil, when I clearly recall him offering to help when Hurricane Katrina hit and oil supplies were diminished... Venezuela offered to help us and I believe it was Dub-ya who turned him down. Chavez was promoting a book called "Hegemony or Survival: America's Quest for Global Dominance" by Noam Chomsky. Support this book. Just by the title alone I'm having a feeling it will be good. (Check out this link and scroll down for reviews about the book.)Skip is going to call me a Communist now just because I'm a Chavez supporter. Chavez has balls and says what he feels... and also what millions of other Americans feel , too. I also heard on the news that Bush has the audacity to have announced that he's going to be at the first Saints home game... if that isn't some bull! He can come to a football game but when babies were dying, people were drowning, and lost their entire lives he was nowhere to be found...
KUDOS to HUGO CHAVES For calling out President George W. Bush yesterday!
Read the article if you haven't been informed...
Me and my friend Jedidiah (shout out to the Sleepy Hollow!) were talking last night and the topic of relationships came up. Specifically, why people don't think that having relations with old partners is wrong. It's called 'The Rule of Cancellation.' (Like in math, when numbers cancel themselves out.) So, if you sleep with someone and don't see them for a while and happen to run into them again... is it ok to sleep with them again with no hard feelings, guilt, etc? Should the rule apply? You be the judge: 
I like John Legend. He's a talented, well-dressed ~but not in an overly metrosexual way~ and attractive brother. He has a new album dropping on October 24th that I have to buy and I hope you will, too. Support real artists'. On another note, I hope he hasn't been hanging around Fonzie the Umbrella Man lately. I still think Fonzies turnin brotha's out on the low! Yadda, yadda, yadda... he's dating a chick. Whateva! So are thousands of other DL Brothas! Wake up and get wit it!
I don't even want to make this a case. It's open and shut. Nick Cannon is just extra. Look at him. Nuff said. Spotted @: AllHipHop.Com
We all know about Ne-Yo supposedly being down for the other team. If you didn't get the memo you need to Google it. But all this is really a rumor... so they say? Who are they? I think he's got tendancies or that he may be one of those kats that gets things done but claims the other guy is the one who's gay and that he's straight. I just had to post this picture of him. It's amazing to me that when people come out of the 'closet' they switch up their whole steeze. It's almost like they are bi-polar or something. If your that way... or any way for that matter... do you. Life is too short to worry about everybody else. But that doesn't mean that this picture isn't funny as hell! He's just screaming dramatic cunt!
The pigs vs. the pigsA picture is worth a thousand words... and laughs too!
Tune in to the CW channel tonight (8pm/7central) to see the 2-hour season premiere of America's Next Top Model. There are no chicks that stick-out extra, model-pretty (like Eva) in this cycle... at least that's what I think. Maybe I just have to see some other pics or maybe they are just wack? Tune in and find out for yourself!
Case #: 345271-Str8CooneryFacing Charges of: Setting back the movement a few decades!The 'Flavor of Love' show is the worst display of coonery I've ever seen besides Wayne Brady. It disgusting... black women degrading themselves and Flav and his ignorant ass is eating it all up! I refuse to watch this show along with Jim Crow Survivor. But since your the jury, what do you think?
Your the jury...what do you think?
Sept. 19th Lupe Fiasco (Food and Liquor) CL Smooth (American Me) you remember the Reminice song? T.R.O.Y.And how could I forget!!Chingy Jackpot (Hoodstar) who cares?!? And just in case you missed it:Loon (No Friends) There's a reason why he has no friends!Method Man (4:21... The Day After)Arriving soon:Lloyd Banks (Rotten Apple) Oct. 10 Jim Jones (Hustler's P.O.M.E) Nov 7Fat Joe (Me, Myself, and I) ?and word on the street is that Melle Mel is in the studio...
I read this article in Vibe Magazine about the Prince of Brunei giving singer Monica a personal invite to his 24th birthday party. Just read the article for yourself. The part that gets me is that he like her 'so much that Monica was greeted with an "incredible 12 karat ring with a mixture of diamonds and colorful jewels." Are you serious?!? I can't even get a glass of Kool-Aid when I go to my peoples house to visit! Big-up to Monica... that's some playa type activity.Zab Judah is in hot water with wifey. He was trying to be a playa and got yoked up in the club. He might be a boxer, but we see who wears the pants in his marriage! Also, Ronald Isley will be singing to his fellow inmates because of tax evasion, he owes the man over $3.1 million in back taxes. More on that story as it unfolds...All articles from Vibe Magazine
Case #: 4302831-HeyShawtyFacing Charges of: Harassment, Ignorance, and having a terrible sense of style.It's not good to generalize, but I can do what I want on my blog. SO, when I was recently in Atlanta, I was on the train and a 'Shawty Boy' yells across the train, "Hey, Shawty! Wha your name is?" Are you serious? He had on the 'Shawty Boy' uniform: long, dress-like T, man capris (they are supposed to be shorts but they sag off their butt cheeks and hang down almost to the ankles), a fitted or a towel on their head, and some now-n-later colored shoes. I wanted to disappear. And if you don't acknowledge a 'Shawty Boy,' you have a 8 to 10 chance that he's going to say some rude ass comments to you. Speaking of 'Shawty Boys,' check out this pic of Lil' Jon when he was younger!
September 19th, Lupe Fiasco drops his debut album Food & Liquor. What's up with the album cover circa 1980? Hi-Tek is also dropping a new one October 17th called "Hi-Teknology 2." Cyberjacked from: http://realtalkny.blogspot.com/ Also, check out this interview, part 1 & part 2, from Talib Kweli Cyberjacked from: allhiphop.com
Case #: 956234-2DamnPrettyFacing Charges of: Crossing that Metrosexual Line! Check this kat out to the right! I'm still trippin off his little bow-tie and hair-do lookin like Big Brother Julian off School Daze! And isn't this sweet... maybe a bit too fruity. Playboys are going to be in a town near you... so get ready to do your best vogue moves and work it like a dramatic cunt would! (you HAVE to click the last 3 links to see them workin it! Check how he does the triple-sow-cow snap into a double-turn-drop on the first video! Definately a classic!)
Case #: 623942-ItNevaEndsFacing Charges of: misdemeanors ghetto-fication. They are definitely getting a felony...and them too! (They must be from St. Louis! Shout out to Artis McCoy b.k.a. TP! That's just for you!)
Now the guy to the left... we've all been there. Your mom went and bought something too big to fit in the car and made you hold onto it the whole way home because 'she brought you into this world and she'll take you out!' And we have all had: a hoop-dy (or know someone with one that has that ghetto door/window), know chicks with the B.A.P.S hair, have ghetto-rigged, have homeboys\girls that take pictures like this, and know some cross-cultured ghetto folks (I'm mad they're rockin' airbrushed T's!). But... remember when you went to the prom and took pride in what you wore? Now-a-days it's different now... it's almost like a Playa's Ball meets Pimps Up, Hoes Down annual ball . Case is still pending...and probably always will be...Check out more Ghettoness @: HotGhettoMess.com
Case #: GotMeFeelinCrackishFacing Charges of: Having consumers thinking they feel better... but your really high!I took some DayQuil, but i got the store brand because it was cheaper, and I'm at work ZOOTED. I feel like I'm on mentopause because I'm getting hot flashes, my vision is blurred, and I'm starting to hear things. You see that pic of that dog to the right? That's exactly how I look right now. How are you supposed to be functional off this stuff? I feel just like this...
Case #: 587313-TeleTubbieCultFacing charges of: Making it o.k. to be metrosexual and running an undercover cult.With their TV bellies, cross-dressing ways, and never knowing which ones are boys or girls... they are turning the next generation into something we are all going to be sorry for in the long-run. I've even heard they have subliminal advertising when parents aren't looking, several reports of getting down with the Taliban and are into transporting illegal substances! That Sun-Baby on the show hypnotizes the children into their cult... (look at this innocent child! The parents have no clue the children are under hypnosis!) Some parents have even become a victim.
I DON'T THINK PEOPLE UNDERSTAND that when you forward chain letters, corny stories, and B.S. that it is annoying! Skip b.k.a Earnie J b.k.a Boushay b.k.a Earnest Chandler... this one is for you. Maybe when I directed the previous post towards my mother, you didn't think it pertained to you. Well, now I'm calling you out! STOP IT! I delete them before I even open them. They do nothing but fill-up my inbox and I refuse to respond to a chain letter! Did I really need to put you on blast for you to understand that sending me this crap is pissing me off! Next step: e-mail block!
Case #: 596822-DejaWho?Facing Charges of: Being way too over-exposedEveryone is B-lagged... except all her psycho fans who spent the last of their rent money to cop 8 albums a piece. I'm even skipping the Tyra Show on Friday because she's the guest. I didn't even want to post her pic here. If I hear Deja-Vu one more... or that wack Ring the Alarm song! Congrats to Ms. Tuckett for her success, though. Her album is Gold so far. 'B' is still a spiteful 'B' (When she tried to pre-release her album early to hurt Ms. Tuckett and her album sales.) Evil cunts neva win!
AJ and Free are going to be in the October issue of VIBE. And check it out! AJ cut his hair! Can you believe it? I'm all for dreds, but his were like breads... braid/dreds... similar to this guy. But he looks good. I don't know if he looks as good as handsome as this guy... but he looks presentable. I don't know about you but I miss AJ and Free.
Case #: 2934852-MARTAisn'tSmartaFacing charges of: Being Late...ALL the time The transportation in Atlanta is the most bootleg form of public transportation... The MARTA. When I first moved to the 'A,' I was forced to ride this B.S. and let me tell you... it was nothing nice. I was on the bus a few times and the driver stopped, threw the bus in park, and walked to the Dunkin or gas station to get coffee... I couldn't believe it! That's some real ghetto shit! And don't ever expect to get anywhere on time. You have to leave hours ahead of time. And the trains aren't reliable either. I feel for you ATLiens. I didn't apreciate the MTA until I experienced MARTA. Definately an ongoing investigation...
I had to re-post this video! Turn up the volume and get your laugh-on! This video makes my day... everyday! I know I'm going to get some phone calls off this one! This picture to the left has nothing to do with it... I just fell like putting it there. Work it Diva! He/she works those heels better than most chicks...
When I leave work on November 7th I'm going straight to the nearest CD outlet to cop the new Nas album, "Hip-Hop Is Dead." (I know Jedidiah will be there too! What's up Mr. Dade?!) I'm already a believer this album is official- just off the title alone. About time some real rap is being released... it is just me or is everybody sounding the same? Also comming soon to a Tower Records near you: N.O.R.E is releasing an ALL reggaton album, 'N.O.R.E Y La Familia Ya Tu Sabe' the 12th, Ludacris... 'Release Therapy' on September 26th, The Roots, 'Game Theory' on August 29th.
While I was checking my favorite blog today, I stumbled across another blog, Clay Cane, that almost got me fired from work! This guy is funny as hell... but has a point. And if you want to see somethin hella funny... check this out! I was hysterically laughing in front of my computer like a hyena! When I turned around, everyone was looking at me as if I needed to be committed.
Congratulations L-Diggs!!Lauren PremDas (formerly Lauren Schley) gave birth to her 2nd baby boy, Gabriel! L-diggs has her hands full now! Feel free to hit her up, send her a gift, or your best wishes. If you don't have her contact info, then obviously she doesn't want to speak to you... so don't ask me.
Case #: CantEscapeTheRapeFacing Charges of: Making my (2nd favorite) team LOSE!Forget the whole Manning vs. Manning rivalry... how about how the Giants caught the rape last night from the bad calls thanks to the refs! I know my neighbor has to hate me after al that cussin' and yelling I was doing last night. (Check this link for all the scores.) But anyway, shout-out to the most well-spoken negro in the league: Tiki Barber. He kinda reminds me of Lavar Burton from Reading Rainbow but in a weird, sensual way! But I love this guy!! Aren't his teeth clean? They're actually white... that's something you don't see too much now-a-days.
Case #: 583752-WhatTheF#@&Facing various charges of: Being Ghetto (period)I've seen some things in my lifetime, but some of this stuff is just beyond my imagination!!!! Look at this though! That's jokes! I can't believe that people actually feel comfortable with themselves when they leave the house. And what the hell are they smokin?!?! This stuff is just ghetto! Check out grandma to the the left! What is she smokin in that cigar? And even worse... what does she\he have on? I'm ordering intervention! It's gotta stop!
Album ReleasesHere are some promising albums. I know it will be better than anything Young Jock Itch will ever release! Bone Thugs-N-Harmony on Sept. 18th, Xzibit on Oct 17th, Talib Quali on Nov. 7th (what ever happened to the next Blackstar album?), Styles P. on Nov. 17th (or sometime this year). Check back for more updates.
Case #: 52135-MakeDollazButNoCommonCents Facing Charges of: Releasing Falsified Mixtapes for more publicity & just being plain stupid.
Fiddy is in the news again. It seems that 50 and Puffy allegedly suqashed their beef already. That's stuid. How did you just drop the track and you've already squashed the beef? I miss the days when Tupac talked *!%$ on the end of the Take Money track for a good 10 minutes. He had me watchin my back after all the stuff he was saying... but then again I miss Tupac and Biggie. What happened to the days when rappers could have a good clean battle? Now I sound like somebody's auntie havin flashbacks! But this publicity stunt between 50 and everybody has to stop. But... he has made the news for several driving violations. Here's his NYPD debut pic. Should've called Geico!Verdict: Any black man riding around in a car that can by a piece of real estate without insurance or a valid license is asking for it! He's lucky they didn't pull the signature NYPD move on him like they did Amadou Diallo. Fiddy betta learn! He needs a few months in lock up and Nasty Nate to break him in as Fish.
2006 NFL SeasonAll the ladies who don't watch... it's that time of the year again! Go bake cookies with your homegirls because your man is going to be glued to the TV. And for those who do participate... tune in tonight for the first real game of the season. Personally, I was tired of the preseason crap. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!? I am...Check this link out to keep up to the minute with scores and favorite teams. For all the ladies who don't watch... here's something for you!
Case #: 679235-2richN2stupidFacing charges of: DUI, Public Scrutiny, and Dumbness in the first degreeWhen you can buy a handbag that costs more than someones rent for three months, than you need to have a personal driver. Personally, I'd be like Eddie Murphy in Coming to America. She needs a swift kick in the ass. Her and her old buddy seem to have some issues. You know the saying... birds of a feather. Verdict: Less Patron and more Louie.
Case #: 20475-DingAlingFacing Charges of: Having the corniest rap name everWhich one of his homeboys told him that name was hot. Chingy Jackpot? So, has he dropped the Jackpot part? Like Bow Wow and Romeo dropped the Lil'? He's always yelling ching-a-ling or something of the sort. Maybe he needs gambling anoymous. Whatever it is... he needs to drop the Jackpot. It's almost as wack as Ray J claiming he's gully. (This pic is really gangsta!) Case still pending...
Case #: 6234311-WhatHappenedFacing Charges of: Maliciously polluting the community with garbage music (thanks to Diddy), fads, & slang.It'a almost like artists' are testing to see how much they can flood the market with B.S. until someone serves them with papers. Today is the day... All the songs using: nursery rhymes, repetitive crap, candy to describe body parts, and lack of originality an/or lyrics need to be banned. Why would anyone turn eanie-meanie-my-nee-moe into lyrics for a song? Just ask Yung Joc Itch. What's up with boys walking around with men-capris and t-shirts that look like dresses? (Check out double ugly!) I'm mad at that. It'a almost like they're trying to see who can look like the biggest jackass. This is definately an ongoing investigation.
Case #: 543823-DoubleDiddyFacing Charges of: Ongoing Investigation
Who would've ever thought? Diddy having twins. Let's take a moment to reflect how both his childrens mothers' raped him on the child support tip and now Diddy has two more little ones on the way with the infamous Kim Porter. She can sit herself down now that Visions is closed. She went to the club more than the bartender who works there. So have you heard the 50 Cent diss yet? Hit me up in the comment section and tell me what you think.
New Tyra Show Season
I can't wait! My fellow 8-head, as opposed to foreheaded, sista is back for season two. I can't express to you how much I hate re-runs, unless it's Seinfeld, The Wire, or Sex in the City. Did I mention the episode of Tyra with Tyson Beckford? I mean damn! That's prime meat right there! I need a cold shower. He makes these regular kats look like this character!
But the new season, as the Jay's would say, looks fierce! Go to the site and check it out for yourself.
Case #: 692345-ItsBananasFacing Charges of: Laughing like a hyena and saying "baby" & "that's bananas" way too much.Everytime I hear her laugh, I wonder what the hell is going on! I would hate to hear someone tell her something that's really funny. And from what I hear, she claims to be the originator of the saying "that's bananas." Personally, I would like to claim curing babies of rare diseases or Michael Vick of his herpes. But no... she started "that's bananas." ...Who would've ever thought... I wonder if Nelly is ready to stick a sock in her mouth yet?Verdict: This one has me stumped... I'll have to sleep on it.
Rest In Peace to Steve DarwinYou all know him as the Crocodile Hunter... the one who once woke up at three in the morning to jump in a river and catch a crocodile. That show was bananas! I swore he was going to get his ass ate up by a crocodile... but it didn't go down that way. Read this article for the full story. He had gannas! (Anyone who had Mr. Hackett' s Spanish Class can appreciate that!)
Case #: 582345-GoSitDownFacing Charges of: Biting others styles, overexposure, and always exposing her birth canal.Is it just me or are you tired of Beyonce? I'm over it... and anyone who disagrees can kick rocks. This chick gets more press than the O.J. Trial and Michael Jackons put together. And the nerve... to make a B-Day. I'm also mad at people who try to compare Beyonce and Janet. Ms. Jackson if your nasty (or nasty lookin if your Jermain Dupri) has been doing this since 'B' was in her pampers. (Beyonce knows she used to grab her kitchen chair and do the Janet Dance.) Verdict: B-Day has officially been declared N-E-Way Day
For all my real hip-hop heads... read this article if you haven't heard. While all the commercial music acts were inside... the real show was outside at the MTV awards. Thanks to Mos Def for always having a message in his lyrics. Unlike Chamillionaire... who actually supports this kat? He's wack! And if your up for some real tv... tune in to HBO on Sunday, September 10 for the new seasons of The Wire and Def Comedy Jam (yes, Def Comedy Jam is back!)
Case #: 519237-ItAintEZ-BeinCheezy Facing charges of: Losing his identity Last night I happened to catch Celebrity Duets. Why does Carlton, I refuse to look at him as anybody else other than that, always look cheesy as hell? He really is Carlton! He promises if he wins that he's going to do the 'Carlton Dance' for everyone... Yeah ok... and you think I'm going to lose sleep for that?... N-E-ways... Jay Rodriguez from 'Queer Eye for a Straight Guy' can sing his ass off! And Little Richard is funny as hell. Between the bedazzled suits, the little mustache, and screaming those high notes... he almost made me tinkle in my bed! Verdict: Intervention is the key word here. Carlton is forced to gain his own identity...
Case #: HoesJumpUp2GetBeatDown
