jury duty

JURY DUTY: Announcements

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 04:21:00 +0000

With all the fuckery going on in this world I feel like I need to vent. So I'm introducing a new post topic called, "Tell it like it is." My first topic: Fooleywangs & Fugly Mofo's.

Fooleywangs: Jermain Jackson has been at the top of my Fooleywang List since I can remember with his shellacked skin and Legoman hair. Not only did he try to get his shine on when Michael died, but his singing at the memorial was reminiscent of a dog getting run over or a cat in heat. And what the hell does he have on in that picture?

Fugly Mofo's: Trick Daddy looks like he's been in an alley somewhere smoking rocks and hair-ron with his sidekick Ugga Booga. These two yuck mouthed negrodians look like the poster children for gingivitis. And what is he doing with that knife? It's amazing what a bar of soap and a shower can do. In the words of Mary J, "Someone please call 9-1-1..."

THE JURY vs The Year 2012

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 04:12:00 +0000

I thought I was the only one sick of hearing about 2012, but apparently I'm not. Not only have they beat this b.s. into peoples brains like crazy but now there's a movie about it. I'm sorry, but this movie looks real wack and unrealistic. I just want to know where they land their single-engine plane since the entire planet collapses. Does it transform into a spaceship and land on the moon? I have a feeling I'll never know --> because I could care less. I'm sure the critics will eat this up because they always approve of shitty movies...

JURY DUTY vs. T-Mobile

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 03:01:00 +0000

Jesus be a new cell phone provider and a bottle of patience. After getting off work Friday morning and realizing my cell phones interweb connection wasn't working I followed through with several hours of troubleshooting. Coming to the conclusion that it was my phone, that I frequently drop, I Naomi Campbell sashayed my ass down to the local T-mobile store and bought a new one. I opted for the new Sidekick LX. (Yeah, I'm almost 30 with a Sidekick - eat me). After purchasing the phone I realized that my innawebs were still not connecting. The customer service zestyman informed me that the Sidekick Server (They use a separate server from the other phones) was down and it MIGHT be fixed by Sunday or Monday. Well, it's Monday and the steam coming out of my ears could boil Ramen Noodles! I will be marching my cunty ass back to T-Mobile tomorrow and returning this phone. I can't...

THE JURY vs. Facebook

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 03:04:00 +0000

My issue isn't so much with Facebook itself, but those that update their statuses with "Good morning" and "Goodnight Facebook fam." Facebook isn't a person and I could care less if your going to sleep or just waking up. Go brush your teeth, wipe the crust out of your eyes, and wash your ass for Christs sake! Facebook is bad enough, but this fuckery is the main reason I refuse to get Twitter. We don't want to know your every move, what you ate last night, if your dropping a rat, or if your crotch rot is flaring up. And to those updating like you have a navigational device attached to your thumbs, keep updating your every whereabouts and you might wind up like this fool. I'm convinced the innawebs were created by Satan...

THE JURY vs. Time

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 08:21:00 +0000

Why haven't I blogged in whoever knows how long?! lol! But I am back and have plenty of material to talk about. So much has changes since I last blogged! Plax is locked up, my G-men are 3-0, me and my zesty romate Earl have a new roomate, Patrick bka"Pigpen" bka "Paul Wall" (which is a post or two within itself), and changes at the plantation. Time is about to expire on my 20's and I'll be reaching my 30's in one month and 24 days. I can't say that I'm mad. I had so much fun in my early 20's that I spent from 25 and up recovering! I can't tell you the amount of fuckery I was involved in during these years! lmao! But not only has my birthday crept up on me, but so has the new year. Did this year not go by fast as hell or is it just me? Shout out to my homie PoCrizzle and the rest of the blogging fam that probably thought I fell off the map...

THE JURY vs. Nadya Suleman (bka Octapu$$Y Lady)

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 15:14:00 +0000

The devil is alive well - working overtime, especially in the mist of the recession. I'm sick & tired of hearing about this crazy broad so I'll just say what I have to say and leave it alone. How can the doctor still have his license? How can this nut bucket cum recepticle even hold her head high after bringing all these children that she can't even afford into the world?!? The nerve. Stop the madness!! I say they rip out her plumbing so that she can't go sneaking around having puppy litters anymore. Yay or nay?!?

JURY DUTY: Fiercest Diva of the Year Award

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 12:03:00 +0000

Goes to NONE OTHER than Andre J! HowYOUdoin?!? Somebody hand me my glowsticks because since the first day shim graced my presence - my life hasn't been the same! I only strive to be as fierce & graceful as shim. Diva Status, chyle! Plus, he/she's a Newark, NJ native which only makes shim even more fierce in my book. Werk, it! Werk it, Andre J!! You'll always be my #1.

JURY DUTY: Donkey of the Year Award

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 11:40:00 +0000

Goes to... Plaxico Burress! He hit donkey status after the shooting hisself in the club. (see previous post) Just the other day, police raided his house and found MORE guns and MORE evidence. How stupid can you be? You had all the time in the world to make moves and you sat still like a duck. For all this he gets THE 2008 Donkey Award. Shout out to last years winner, The Stupid Liquor Store Robber. Pour out a little liquor. You'll be forever in our memories.

THE JURY vs. Plaxico Burress

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 13:13:00 +0000

Sometimes people do something so blaightenly donkified that you just know they wish they had magic dust to make their dumbass disappear. Ever since this season started, Plax has been in rare form. He has gotten fined, suspended, and his ass didn't start due to his T.O. cunty-esque behavior. Shooting hisself in the leg had to be the dumbest shit yet. Not only did the news upset me, but this picture to the left, Christmas Story references and all, killed my soul. "You'll shoot your thigh out!" Bittersweet poetry...

THE JURY vs. OJ Simpson (literally)

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 12:11:00 +0000

Karma is a bitch. Crazy, no? Thirteen days to the year of his aquittal. Damn, OJ. But I'm saying though, he got away with murder. I'm not saying that he actually did it. Maybe he hired someone to do it. Maybe he was even there during the murder. But why couldn't he just sit his ass somewhere and stay out of trouble??? Personally, I think OJ is a dumbass and it just goes to show you... karma will always come back to get you. Even if you get away with murder.

THE JURY vs. The Perverbial "Closet"

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 12:22:00 +0000

Did Clay Aiken really need to come out that he's gay? The only thing that wasn't screaming gay on Clay is that he wasn't walking around with cum stains on his face. But I'm happy that he can be free. I wonder how big this closet is and exactly how many people are inside of it! lol! But in all actually, some of my good friends are homosexual... and if they like it, I love it! A person shouldn't be judged on their sexual orientation. Wake up! I thought this was America people!?

P.S. Did you see my Giants last week?! I think they underestimated the sorry ass Bengals, but at least we still won!

JURY DUTY: Monday Night Football

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:27:00 +0000

Did you see the game last night? Good game! Cowgirls vs. Eagles
-Is the Eagles DeSean Jackson not the biggest jackass ever for his pre-endzone celebration?
((Apparently, this isn't the first time he's done that stupid shit! lol! In 2005 during his high school all-star game he made an ass out of hisself in a similar way!))
-This weeks schedule

Jury Duty vs. YouTube and Media

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 10:40:00 +0000

My Aunt Barbara called me the other day and said my little cousin just go sentenced to two years. Hopefully he doesn't run into Fleece Johnson b.k.a "The Mythical Booty Warrior."

Lawd, gimme a sign! The devil just stole my soul...

Jury Duty: Sports News

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 16:34:00 +0000

-Check out this weeks NFL Schedule & Scores
-Next weeks schedule [Monday Night: Chunky Soup Sissy's (Eagles) vs. Cowgirls]
-((Of course my Giants already won Thursday against the Deadskins!))
-Brady out for the season? I guess the D.S.L's, Defending Superbown Losers, are screwed now!
-Serena Williams wins the US Open!
-Class of 2008 NBA Hall of Fame pics
-Chad 'Cunty' Johnson changes his name to Ocho Cinco *crickets* (Someone needs attention)
-College football??? Who really gives a shit?

Jury Duty vs. NJ Ninja Vigilanties

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 10:53:00 +0000

Read this article and see the kind of crazy shit goes on here in the wonderful State of New Jersey. I wish they had the video on YouTube of the newscasters reactions after reading the story... classic! lol! Don't these dumbasses realize that they can have all the Chinese Stars, nun chucks, swords, and fake ass Shonobi tactics they want, but a bullet will take out both their asses out faster than you can say Wu-Tang?!

I'm back!

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 14:43:00 +0000

I was about to quit this bitch, but I decided to come back. I've had some interesting shit happen to me during the past few weeks. 1) An African hit my car and ran. Luckily, the passenger who was in my car is a cop so we chased the African guy down on some bootleg Cops shit, my homeboy jumps out on some citizens arrest shit and tells homeboy to pull over. 2) Last week somebody broke in my car and tried to steal it What a nice welcome back to Newark, huh? 3) The cop guy turned out to be an extremely undercover bi-sexual. I'm considering locking myself inside and only coming out for food and work. I can no longer expose myself to these outside elements and people. At least football will be back on soon! (Go G-men!)

JURY DUTY vs. FACEBOOK

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:56:00 +0000

Facebook, you continiously ruin my life. Not only am I addicted to the Marbel LinesGame on that shit, but now I'm gettin friend requests from ex's that I forgot about and hid deeeeep in the back of the perverbial closet. I've also been getting 'friend requests' from people that know damn well that we weren't friends. I didn't like you then, and I could give a shit about you now.

In other news: tonight, for all of you that have the right kind of cable, is the final episode of The Wire. I don't know about you, but I don't know what I'm going to do now. That show is my bread, butter, and crack. I thought that I was going thru it when Avon Barksdale got locked up... now I have to do without the show completly. Pour out a little liquor...

Music News: I still love you Ghostface...

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 18:02:00 +0000

...but I just can't support rich people. If I had my choice between buying your album and spending the last of my money for gas...

fill it up... regla! I'll get the bootleg...

WE'RE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL, BITCHES!!

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:49:00 +0000

After all the debating wether or not the NY GIANTS were a good team, I'm sure you are all believers now! lol! I love it! And on top of that, I've been betting everyone for the past 3 weeks and now I'm in the money! Life is great! And a special shout out to all you Cowboys fans... Triple Angus Burgers! lol! Go eat some salty popcorn with cunty ass T.O. while you watch US in the Superbowl =)

JURY DUTY: Random Shit

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 17:11:00 +0000

-I'm still pissed about my Giants losing to the Cowgirls...
-I swear Terrell Owens femme vogues when he's home alone.
-Have you seen that movie 'I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry?' That shit is hilarious and has a really good message.

JURY DUTY: Music News

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 21:30:00 +0000

-Jay Z- hated it! (I was only feeling three songs...)
-Alicia Keys- Go cop that!
-There is also some hot reggae out right now that I know people are sleepin on!
-How do you feel about the movie American Gangsta? I'm hearing mixed reactions. I thought it was alright but I wanted more...
-The world is ending: further proof

JURY DURY vs. Dallas Cowboys

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 20:46:00 +0000

Another 2 weeks from today until my NY Giants take on the Dallas Cowgirls. We better win. My homeboy Andre is a big Cowgirls fan and the last thing I need is to hear this shit. I have faith in my team. Hopefully T-Ho and Tony Homo get their penis' stuck in blenders before the game. Nuff said...

Jury Duty: Sports News

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 04:26:00 +0000

-The NY Giants won! ((Yeah, I'm late. But who cares?!?))
-Marion Jones is Example #1 of why not to trust men
-Cleveland Indians beat the Yankees... who cares?
-Did I say the Giants won! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
-Unfortunately, the Cowboys won. Damnit!
-I swear Michael Strahan is (down south version:) some kin (up north version:) related to Mike Tyson- lol!

JURY DUTY: Kanye vs. 50 Cent UPDATE

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 07:10:00 +0000

Billboard is reporting that Kanye is beating 50 in sales so far. 50 isn't to happy, blaims Interscope, and says he's leaving the label... *crickets* This is great! 50 no more a solo artist?! I doubt it. I bet you that bastard renigs faster than a broke whore at a spades game. I was listening to G-Unit Radio today... I mean Hot97... and 50 was on there all damn day from 12pm-12am! Enough is enough already! I wonder if they all got splashed with piss everytime 50 went to the bathroom from hangin off his nuts so hard?

JURY DUTY: Random News

jerzey19@hotmail.com (Tittayballs) — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 04:56:00 +0000

Congrats to Venus Williams!
Bin Laden releases more videos than Green Lantern, Kay Slay, & Drama drop mixtapes put together!
NFL Football is back! I can't stand that pre-season shit...
I'm having a house warming party soon! I move in Oct. 1st!
That new Kanye CD, Graduation, is growing on me-- but that Common is still my favorite CD this year. (Check out this video! lol!)
I'm feeling this guy J. Holiday so far. He can sang... and he looks like he gives a nice backshot